Outside the Camp

Outside the Camp
Posted by David

I couldn’t think of anything to blog about and it’s been a while, so I worked on this graphic. It explains my current state best.

I don’t feel at home with the conservatives. I don’t fit in with the liberals. I certainly don’t fit in with civilization. I feel best fit with the misfits and children out there, but even in their company I don’t connect all that well. I do feel at home in the wilderness, but I know it’s not my true home either. I do feel a familiarity which is akin to home with my family, but there too, like in the wilderness, it’s a fleeting home, rarely so comfortable that I’m at peace.  I suppose one of the places that I feel most at home is closing my eyes and singing the gospels with other Christians, but that only happens regularly once a week. Again, like family and wilderness, it’s fleeting.

I will venture to guess that depression in all it’s forms is simply a manifestation of homesickness. If we’re not in some state of feeling homesick, we should ask why we’re not.

In my past I had a couple of bouts with what some might call depression, but that relentless deep empty feeling has not resurfaced in years, in particular since I realized that my home is outside the camp with Jesus.

Home is where the heart is and my heart is with Jesus.

And rising very early in the morning, while it was still dark, he departed and went out to a desolate place, and there he prayed.

-Mark 1:35

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5 Comments

Filed under Christianity

5 responses to “Outside the Camp

  1. rangerbug

    Hmm…I’m intrigued by the idea of depression as homesickness. Maybe that’s why so many depressed people express a feeling of searching. Can you be homesick for a place you have never been? Does a person get depressed only once they have had a home and lost it? I’m still inclined to believe in a biological and chemical component, but you know what a skeptic I am…

    I am glad you have found a home, however fleeting. At least you know you can return to it time and again. I do certainly see the difference in you since you found it. I wonder when I will find mine–it is obviously not the same as yours!

  2. You made me think that all emotions (homesickness included) are probably classed and have root causes and/or archetypal forms.

    Of course, I think that depression comes from a longing for the Kingdom of heaven–the archetype of Joy.

    I also don’t want to confuse the Kingdom of Heaven with some non-Earthly place. The “Home” that I talk about seems to be more of a condition for me right now that a place. However, from my understanding of Scriptures, the Kingdom of heaven is “at hand,” but not yet fully realized, especially in relationship to the world (i.e. fallen human civilization). So, I can get glimpses of the Kingdom here and now in both relationships and in nature. But one day, it will be both a condition and a place.

    I think that some religions make heaven out to be some golden-bricked, superfancy city. I expect that Heaven is very much like those things that we already know. But all of the good (the reflections of God’s archetypes) in nature and relationships that we experience today…with none of the wicked and none of the white-washed fascade.

    …there appeared to them Moses and Elijah, talking with him… (a glimpse of the Kingdom)

  3. Mike Zelenka

    Mama Mia! Why do Believers respond so uncritically to “Scriptures.” These were written by people just like us. And edited and reedited by fallible people just like us. Depression comes from “A longing for the Kingdom of Heaven”??!! PLEASE. Can we return to objectivity and reality and a scientific orientation?

  4. Your a tough customer sometimes! I could say, “I see in some floaty place in my noggin this vision of the Kingdom.” What validity would that have? I referenced scriptures because that is one place where we can learn about who Jesus was/is.

  5. If you were to shelve in the stores of mind’s eye only those experiences that are objectively provable through ‘scientific orientation’, what would your storehouse look like? Would there be a place for joy? Would there be a place for humor? Would there be a place for kindness? Would there be a place for the sublime? Would there be a place for love?

    No, it would be a museum full of objects, just objects with shape and of no meaning. The sun would sit on a shelf and tell nothing about what light means. A bear would sit on a shelf and tell nothing of the meaning of strength and wildness. Jesus would sit on a shelf and just be a man and through him we wouldn’t know the meaning of God the Father.

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