Examine Yourself

How to Stop an Argument 101 – Part 2

Posted by David—

It’s amazing how sometimes, I go into a situation trying hard not to argue, because of all the things I said previously, but still I end up laying down my perspective, this way and that way, trying to justify myself especially when I consider myself to be falsely accused. The argument builds. Listening break down along both fronts. Yes, all arguing is a form of warfare.

What do we do in these situations? We stop justifying ourselves and our point, no matter how much we think our point or our character has been hurt. We can’t and we shouldn’t try. In fact, if we try, we will fail, because it’s simply not our role and it is impossible. We must know in our hearts that Justice is pure and real. We don’t need to engage in warfare for ourselves. If we are being truthful, and are in the right, then we will be justified. It’s a simple fact that takes faith to employ.

What’s most crucial when these events occur in our lives is for us to search inward and find out how we have been in err, how we have lied, and take effort to obtain forgiveness. But that’s the most difficult thing to do, especially when we think we’re in the right and have been wronged. It’s completely counterintuitive, but it is the solution to all arguments and all warfare for that matter.

Ever seen a president or a king do that before? “You’re right, we have been putting economic and social strain on your land and people. Forgive us.” It’s unlikely for that to happen. However, we can make these sorts of amends almost daily in all of our interpersonal interactions, whether it be our spouses, parents, kids, friends, associates, you name it. This is peace as painful as it may be. It’s painful at the moment and it won’t make things all hunky-dory afterward either, not by a long shot.

The process I’m talking about is a lifelong journey, and truthfully, is only really possible through Christ. This is the most practical application of “The Cross” that you or I will ever engage in. In this process, we are nailed to the cross and our walk in the Kingdom begins.

Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves.

2 Corinthians 13

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1 Comment

Filed under Christianity, Psychology

One response to “Examine Yourself

  1. Linda

    I agree with the excellent analysis of arguing and honesty and confession and repentance, and forgiveness — ideally followed by rebirth. It parallels or enacts the “Pascal Cycle.” The Way.

    Those who try to block or withhold forgiveness may intrude on another’s progress to redemption. Even holding grudges raises a barrier to new life. Those who have trouble forgiving may be making the grave error of thinking they should, and deserve to, punish and correct the other’s character.

    That may never happen. The grudge-holder could spend a lifetime waiting and wanting the person to be sorry. All they may accomplish is embedding their own anger and self-pity.
    No one wins.

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